How my NDE got me Instagramming...

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I’d say it started with almost dying. It was unexpected, as it often is. Apparently I got lucky with my liver failure, since my liver enzymes had skyrocketed to fatal levels quickly, de-coagulating my blood, pickling my brain, causing short term kidney failure, and wreaking general havoc in my body. It turns out the body is a finely tuned ecosystem, and the collapse of one organ has a domino effect. Miraculously, my health vastly improved once the toxins were flushed out over the following days. I dodged a bullet, and now, nearly two years later, I’m happy to say I feel better than ever.

As I slowly returned to myself, I found a new self, one with a clear and fresh perspective on life itself. As I learned in my Near Death Experience (NDE) therapy, this internal change was typical of individuals who come through such an imminent threat. I learned that statistically most survivors’ relationships fail because of the sudden transformation of values, preferences and a more blunt directness. A high level of communication is essential in relationships with family and friends, and a low tolerance for bullshit is typical.

In time, my effort to heal my body organically expanded to include healing the territory of the land where I live. My focus for both was on integrating balance, adaptation, and sustainability in all aspects of life. This began with a renewal of my personal practices, habits and commitments, balancing work, rest, and play, and harmonizing the give and take in every task and relationship. I now see healing the ranch where I live as an extension of healing myself, and my environmental efforts have begun with taking care of what I have some control over. And I’ve discovered there is a lot to do.

The parallels between my own process and that of the land are striking: having been poisoned, my life was nearly ended. Once the poison was removed my body rebounded quickly and came back to full health. This is true in natural ecosystems, too, where a stark and lifeless landscape can thrive again when toxic chemicals, gross overuse, and depleting practices are reversed. The life impulse surges forward, and slowly but surely nature begins to heal.

Using Taoist nature philosophy, personal sustainability practices, and psychology as some of my guides, I have discovered a more balanced life. With far more restorative time built into my days than I could have imagined, I’m realizing that cycles of replenishment are needed for the ranch, too. For example, decades ago, avocado trees were planted in rows, asked to produce fruit over and again without the benefit of natural diversity and regenerative practices. With the benefit of biodynamic methods, we are experimenting with understory crops, no-till and mulch, so while we fine-tune our resource efficiency with productivity, we have enhanced the soil’s health to increase carbon sequestration on our property. As water becomes scarce and fires rage ever closer, rethinking the future health of the canyon is imperative. Like me, Ellwood Canyon is a delicate ecosystem that will take all my love, attention, and care to thrive. And I have a lot to learn.

My wish is to share my journey in an easy, digestible way via Instagram, through bite-sized micro teachings. Are you following along? What do you think so far?

I hope you let me know your thoughts and ideas, so we can keep a conversation going. Now is the perfect time to move deliberately toward our healing, intertwined with the healing of our planet.

P.S. The only conclusion the experts at UCLA ICU could draw at the time of my NDE was that I overdosed on an OTC herbal supplement, but I’ve recently learned about an FDA investigation into Real Water, the bottled drinking water I drank, which sent dozens of people into liver failure. At least one person had a liver transplant at the same time I was in line for one. In a future post I will update you on the investigation, the class-action lawsuit, and say more about water safety in general.

A bird’s eye view of the ranch.